Life As We Know It

hi everyone...now that I finally figured out how to use this...my kids will be posting soon:)
Thought I'd start with a few laughs, just for fun. Since we live in a communistishe medina, henceforth, all shifchos will be named "Amelia Bedilia" instead of their more popular name here.
The title of this blog should actually be: "So you think we have help..."
These are all true stories and since you've all heard most of mine already I have new ones to share - Nechamie and Avremis!!!.
Scenario 1 - "Amelia Bedilia" likes to shop at the market for the most reasonably priced shabbos fruit. She brings home watermelon with the most black seeds, although seedless watermelon is slightly more expensive. Nechamie asks her to PLEASE only buy seedless watermelon, as she has two babies who like to have watermelon along with their guest. "Amelia Bedilia" says 'yes yes yes', and the next Friday, Nechamie finds her in the kitchen cutting up fruit for the guest...and she is picking out with her nails all the black seeds, one by one, from a seedful watermelon. Nechamie looks horrified. Oh, replies "Amelia Bedilia" . i just couldn't. Seedless was a bit more expensive, so I thought of this great idea...
Scenario 2 - Nechamie like to give her kids apple juice mixed with water. She told "Amelia Bedilia" that she is not allowed to give her kids any food, unless she asks first. However, (surprise surprise) she finds "Amelia Bedilia" handing Mendel a cup of juice. Nechamie is again horrified. Didn't we tell you that you cannot give them any food? Oh, replies "Amelia Bedilia" , don't worry - I mixed it with water. What did you give him? Here - this juice! It was LEMON JUICE.
Yes yes, I know. At least we have help. But so do most of you -- except we get comedy thrown in for free. And why not vent about it if someone will get a laugh...
So have fun cooking for shabbos (it took my "Amelia Bedilia2" 45 minutes to slice 5 pieces of chicken into chicken salad strips and cut 1 tomato and 1 cucumber into cubes. I timed her tonight).